Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day I look forward to all year long. This Thanksgiving has me a little on edge, or perhaps it is all of the coffee I had this evening... Tomorrow I will expose my favorite to my crazy family. Though there are not many of them on this side, they are all very... eh... unique. As my cousin Erika put it, "Everything should be fine as long as he can keep up with the rest of the fools." Ha ha ha... very well put. I'm exceedingly nervous about this. I don't know why... He should be able to hold his own... Erika promised she would run interference for me if things get to out of hand. She is very excited to meet him. She wants to shake the hand of the guy that made the Grinch's heart grow three sizes. Now if only someone could fix the crazy...
I got a lot of cleaning done tonight. Organized my shoes, cleaned the kitchen, did some laundry. Nothing like tons of fun (and multiple cups of very strong coffee) on the biggest drinking night of the year... along with every other night if you know the people I do. They are all out having fun and I am sitting here blogging. Lame or smart? You decide.
Seriously, I will be lucky if I actually get to sleep before 2am. Can coffee give you a heart attack, because I think I am having one...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I Cannot Even Believe I Waited Soooo Long...
I put off buying a smartphone, convinced that one day I would own an iPhone... and then this came along... the Samsung Fascinate and I immediately fell in love. I saw it on TV and I had to check it out. I looked it up online and I had to see more of it. I went to Verizon, I touched it, and I was hooked. I had to have it. I have everything I need right at my fingertips at all times. She is a beautiful thing. Isn't technology fantastic?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
About a Spider
"You mean you eat flies?" gasped Wilbur
"Certainly. Flies, bugs, grasshoppers, choice beetles, moths, butterflies, tasty cockroaches, gnats, midgets, daddy-long-legs, centipedes, mosquitoes, crickets - anything that is careless enough to get caught in my web. I have to live, don't I?"
"Why, yes, of course," said Wilbur. "Do they taste good"
"Delicious. Of course, I don't really eat them. I drink them - drink their blood. I love blood."
As everyone already knows, I have quite a fear of spiders (see Super Spider Caper). I think they are eight legged, creepy, crawly biting beasts with nothing on their minds but attacking me. Falling on my head in the basement, making the stairwell from my basement out to my backyard practically impassible. However, what many people don't know is I also respect the spider and I am quite fascinated by them... mostly when they are outside and not bothering me. This brings me to my story.
One night, about a month or so ago, I was letting Dukelbear outside for his before bed potty break. I looked over to my right and I turned pale as a ghost, developed goosebumps all over my body, squealed and quickly ran in to the house, making sure to securely close the storm door behind me. There, sitting in the middle a magnificent web that was easily twice the size of my head, was a spider that was about as big as a silver dollar. This was my natural reaction to a spider. Here is where my insane logic about spiders kicks in. This spider is rather large. It is in a web that spans from my back awning to the planters on the rail of my "deck" (for lack of a better term. It's more like a stoop made of wood with planters built into the rail.). Therefore this spider clearly had the advantage if it came down to a battle. I am so skiddish when it comes to spiders that it is hard for me to even try to kill them with shoes, brooms or anything of the sort. It always turns into a disaster with the spider somehow almost ending up on my person. Not that I would have tried to kill this spider. I have a rule when it comes to spiders. If they are outside, eating mosquitos and various other pesky bugs, they may live. If they are crawling around in my house, they must die lest they attack me in my sleep. This rule stands true. So this spider, living in the back of my house, outside, putting her web up at dusk and taking it down at dawn, was permitted to live. In fact, I sort of started to enjoy watching her catch wrap bugs up in her web. Biting them and getting them ready for a tasty meal later. It is almost a childlike curiosity to me. I can't stand them, but I love to watch them work. Suddenly I found myself almost looking forward to seeing this giant, scary, spider at night and first thing in the morning when I let Duke out. I even named her. I called her Charlotte. I decided that she was a she because of her size. Female spiders tend to be larger (know your enemy). I know that Charlotte seems rather cliche for a name but I looked at it this way, Charlotte had to have been the only spider in my whole life that I actually liked. I enjoyed reading Charlotte's Web as a youngster. I was sad when Charlotte died in that book.
One night, a little over a week ago, I came home from, well, God only knows. I went to the back door to let Mr. McDukerson out and I looked to my right... and saw nothing but a mangled web. It looked like something very large flew through Charlotte's web. I felt disappointed. I was taken aback by the fact that I was actually a little bit sad about the disappearance of this spider. I thought about it for a minute and figured she was probably just hiding up on the awning, waiting to rebuild her web. Days went by. There was still no sign of Charlotte. I started talking about it with my roommate (who thinks I am insane for even developing such an odd bond to something that scares the bejesus out of me) and then my boyfriend (he made fun of me for calling her Charlotte). I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never again come home from the bar and drunkenly wave at the giant spider sitting in her web. There will never again be a time when I say, "Hi Charlotte" or tell her how much she sucks at being a giant spider (I never saw any big bugs in her web, and trust me, she was a big spider).
This evening, after the thunderstorm, I called for Duke to let him out because it had finished raining (he won't go out in the rain) and I was getting ready for bed. I opened the back door, and who do I see hanging from the awning in a wet spider ball (moving, not dead and shriveled)? Charlotte!! There also seemed to be a male suitor lurking around. Either that or my back porch becomes spider central when it rains. Oh this is good news (not the spider central part)! I could not believe my eyes. Charlotte lives after all! I told my roommate first thing when I let Duke back inside. Once again he looked at me as if I had a purchased a one way ticket on the crazy train. Perhaps I have. Me, actually liking a spider... preposterous, ridiculous, ludicrous!
Perhaps I am crazy...
Maybe she will rebuild her web tomorrow. If she does I'll post some pictures to go along with this blog post.
Dear lord, with all of this spider talk, I'll never get any sleep tonight.
"Certainly. Flies, bugs, grasshoppers, choice beetles, moths, butterflies, tasty cockroaches, gnats, midgets, daddy-long-legs, centipedes, mosquitoes, crickets - anything that is careless enough to get caught in my web. I have to live, don't I?"
"Why, yes, of course," said Wilbur. "Do they taste good"
"Delicious. Of course, I don't really eat them. I drink them - drink their blood. I love blood."
As everyone already knows, I have quite a fear of spiders (see Super Spider Caper). I think they are eight legged, creepy, crawly biting beasts with nothing on their minds but attacking me. Falling on my head in the basement, making the stairwell from my basement out to my backyard practically impassible. However, what many people don't know is I also respect the spider and I am quite fascinated by them... mostly when they are outside and not bothering me. This brings me to my story.
One night, about a month or so ago, I was letting Dukelbear outside for his before bed potty break. I looked over to my right and I turned pale as a ghost, developed goosebumps all over my body, squealed and quickly ran in to the house, making sure to securely close the storm door behind me. There, sitting in the middle a magnificent web that was easily twice the size of my head, was a spider that was about as big as a silver dollar. This was my natural reaction to a spider. Here is where my insane logic about spiders kicks in. This spider is rather large. It is in a web that spans from my back awning to the planters on the rail of my "deck" (for lack of a better term. It's more like a stoop made of wood with planters built into the rail.). Therefore this spider clearly had the advantage if it came down to a battle. I am so skiddish when it comes to spiders that it is hard for me to even try to kill them with shoes, brooms or anything of the sort. It always turns into a disaster with the spider somehow almost ending up on my person. Not that I would have tried to kill this spider. I have a rule when it comes to spiders. If they are outside, eating mosquitos and various other pesky bugs, they may live. If they are crawling around in my house, they must die lest they attack me in my sleep. This rule stands true. So this spider, living in the back of my house, outside, putting her web up at dusk and taking it down at dawn, was permitted to live. In fact, I sort of started to enjoy watching her catch wrap bugs up in her web. Biting them and getting them ready for a tasty meal later. It is almost a childlike curiosity to me. I can't stand them, but I love to watch them work. Suddenly I found myself almost looking forward to seeing this giant, scary, spider at night and first thing in the morning when I let Duke out. I even named her. I called her Charlotte. I decided that she was a she because of her size. Female spiders tend to be larger (know your enemy). I know that Charlotte seems rather cliche for a name but I looked at it this way, Charlotte had to have been the only spider in my whole life that I actually liked. I enjoyed reading Charlotte's Web as a youngster. I was sad when Charlotte died in that book.
One night, a little over a week ago, I came home from, well, God only knows. I went to the back door to let Mr. McDukerson out and I looked to my right... and saw nothing but a mangled web. It looked like something very large flew through Charlotte's web. I felt disappointed. I was taken aback by the fact that I was actually a little bit sad about the disappearance of this spider. I thought about it for a minute and figured she was probably just hiding up on the awning, waiting to rebuild her web. Days went by. There was still no sign of Charlotte. I started talking about it with my roommate (who thinks I am insane for even developing such an odd bond to something that scares the bejesus out of me) and then my boyfriend (he made fun of me for calling her Charlotte). I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never again come home from the bar and drunkenly wave at the giant spider sitting in her web. There will never again be a time when I say, "Hi Charlotte" or tell her how much she sucks at being a giant spider (I never saw any big bugs in her web, and trust me, she was a big spider).
This evening, after the thunderstorm, I called for Duke to let him out because it had finished raining (he won't go out in the rain) and I was getting ready for bed. I opened the back door, and who do I see hanging from the awning in a wet spider ball (moving, not dead and shriveled)? Charlotte!! There also seemed to be a male suitor lurking around. Either that or my back porch becomes spider central when it rains. Oh this is good news (not the spider central part)! I could not believe my eyes. Charlotte lives after all! I told my roommate first thing when I let Duke back inside. Once again he looked at me as if I had a purchased a one way ticket on the crazy train. Perhaps I have. Me, actually liking a spider... preposterous, ridiculous, ludicrous!
Perhaps I am crazy...
Maybe she will rebuild her web tomorrow. If she does I'll post some pictures to go along with this blog post.
Dear lord, with all of this spider talk, I'll never get any sleep tonight.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A Letter...
Dear Denise,
I have a bone to pick with you. I’m not sure if you have noticed but recently you have been an absolute pain in the ass, good for nothing, lazy fool. You are so tired during the day that work (which is normally mindless) is actually becoming a challenge for you. You are having trouble staying awake while sitting at your computer (which is bad because this is where most of your work time is spent). You are getting snippy with people almost like a cranky child. By the time you get home from work the last thing you even want to think about doing is chores (but I don’t wanna make my bed).
I am writing this letter to tell you that you are 30 years old and it’s time to get your head out of your behind. It is time to be slightly more responsible. This means less time out and more time at home getting the things done that you need to do (and probably saving a bit of money in the process). Now, I know that there will be times that being out late will be unavoidable (Monday night Trivia) but there are other days that you could be at home relaxing (Sundays). Your poor dog feels neglected (he keeps stealing your stuff). I do understand that there is a SuperAwesome human being in your life now that makes it a little more difficult to get the sleep you need (work schedules, get your mind out of the gutter) and I am not saying that you need to spend less time with him. I am saying that you need to talk about it and figure out a schedule that works for both of you (it is a give and take and communication is key). I’m sure you will be able to resolve this part of the problem.
Start taking care of yourself. Start playing with your dog. Stop spending money and for God's sake woman, get some sleep already!!
Love Always,
DSuperAwesome
XoXoXo
I have a bone to pick with you. I’m not sure if you have noticed but recently you have been an absolute pain in the ass, good for nothing, lazy fool. You are so tired during the day that work (which is normally mindless) is actually becoming a challenge for you. You are having trouble staying awake while sitting at your computer (which is bad because this is where most of your work time is spent). You are getting snippy with people almost like a cranky child. By the time you get home from work the last thing you even want to think about doing is chores (but I don’t wanna make my bed).
I am writing this letter to tell you that you are 30 years old and it’s time to get your head out of your behind. It is time to be slightly more responsible. This means less time out and more time at home getting the things done that you need to do (and probably saving a bit of money in the process). Now, I know that there will be times that being out late will be unavoidable (Monday night Trivia) but there are other days that you could be at home relaxing (Sundays). Your poor dog feels neglected (he keeps stealing your stuff). I do understand that there is a SuperAwesome human being in your life now that makes it a little more difficult to get the sleep you need (work schedules, get your mind out of the gutter) and I am not saying that you need to spend less time with him. I am saying that you need to talk about it and figure out a schedule that works for both of you (it is a give and take and communication is key). I’m sure you will be able to resolve this part of the problem.
Start taking care of yourself. Start playing with your dog. Stop spending money and for God's sake woman, get some sleep already!!
Love Always,
DSuperAwesome
XoXoXo
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sometimes Work is Just Boring
Sometimes I sit here and I think, "My God, wouldn't it be SuperAwesome to have a job that doesn't bore the shit out of me on a daily basis?" Then I really start to think about it. What would that job be? Eventually every job becomes boring, don't they? Are there people out there that actually wake up in the morning and say, "Yeah!! Time to get ready for work!! Woot!!"? Sure at first a new job is exciting. The first year is spent learning new things, getting to know coworkers... it is exhilarating. Then you blink and you've been at the same place for three and a half years still doing the same shit day in and day out. It is becoming exhausting just thinking about coming to work. Take this morning for example. I went to bed, literally fell asleep, at 10 o'clock last night. My alarms (I set multiple because I can sleep through them with no problem) started going off around 5:50am. I stayed in bed until 6:20am. I am now sitting here (at work...naughty naughty) feeling sleepy, wishing that I had a second cup of coffee this morning...I shouldn't be tired...
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Say your dream job was to be a professional bull rider. You follow that dream and you start riding those bulls at all of the PBR events... eventually you will get sick of this. Though, now that I think about it, maybe PBR isn't the best example of a boring job. I mean, you could die on a regular basis. So this can't be boring... "Oh I got bored on the back of Flies With Bee Stingers so I decided that I would try a little free style riding. Did you see that Superman I pulled off?" But you know what I mean. Actors, actresses, musicians, designers, doctors, lawyers, pilots... they all get bored right? Or is it just me, just us, the little guys? The ones without the money?
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Say your dream job was to be a professional bull rider. You follow that dream and you start riding those bulls at all of the PBR events... eventually you will get sick of this. Though, now that I think about it, maybe PBR isn't the best example of a boring job. I mean, you could die on a regular basis. So this can't be boring... "Oh I got bored on the back of Flies With Bee Stingers so I decided that I would try a little free style riding. Did you see that Superman I pulled off?" But you know what I mean. Actors, actresses, musicians, designers, doctors, lawyers, pilots... they all get bored right? Or is it just me, just us, the little guys? The ones without the money?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I Love Starbucks
I love Starbucks. To be completely honest with you and myself, I love Starbucks. I remember when I was growing up, a youngster, a teenager, I rebelled against things that everyone liked or at least pretended not to like those things when I was with my super cool friends (many of which I now realize were really lame. In fact all of them were pretty lame. This probably explains why none of us stayed in touch when we growed up. Or at least why I chose not to stay in touch with them.). There was music that I wouldn’t listen to (you can’t like Green Day, they are too mainstream). Apparel I wouldn’t wear (F Nike, Puma, Reebok - We only wear Docs, Chucks and maybe Adidas - but only shell toes). Coffee I wouldn’t drink (all of the yuppies like Starbucks. We get our coffee at the Beehive.). Some of this ridiculousness followed me into my 20’s… at least my early 20’s. It was around the time that the Krispy Kreme donut came to Pittsburgh. People were freaking out about how delicious these donuts were. How once you have a Krispy Kreme donut you will never want another. I recall having a discussion with a coworker telling her that I don’t understand why people are so nuts about this donut. If you’ve had one, you’ve had ‘em all. She asked me if I ever had a Krispy Kreme donut. I told her no. She said just wait. So I finally had one and I in fact loved it. It was at that point in my life I decided that I will no longer be ashamed of liking a few mainstream things here and there. I am allowed. So with that being said I would like to make the following declarations:
I like Green Day. I think their music is catchy, they are awesome live, Billy Joe can really sing when he wants and I don’t mind that they got a little political. Yes, I have liked them since high school.
Hey, guess what? I love Puma!! My favorite brand of shoe to wear. They are like slippers on my feet and they have great arch support. I probably would have liked them my whole life if I would have just given them a chance. And there are some Nike sneakers out now that I would gladly buy if I had the money. Love the throwback line.
And last but not least, I love Starbucks. I have found no other coffee shop that can make an Iced Carmel Macchiato quite like they do.
I like Green Day. I think their music is catchy, they are awesome live, Billy Joe can really sing when he wants and I don’t mind that they got a little political. Yes, I have liked them since high school.
Hey, guess what? I love Puma!! My favorite brand of shoe to wear. They are like slippers on my feet and they have great arch support. I probably would have liked them my whole life if I would have just given them a chance. And there are some Nike sneakers out now that I would gladly buy if I had the money. Love the throwback line.
And last but not least, I love Starbucks. I have found no other coffee shop that can make an Iced Carmel Macchiato quite like they do.
Friday, June 25, 2010
About a Guy
So there is a guy. He is my boyfriend though I find it hard to believe and I am still a bit leery of the situation. I think because it is so new to me.
I really like him. I realized I really liked him when I didn't give him a nickname such as:
The Convict (this is a long story in and of itself)
The Phone Guy
The Diabetic
The Union Guy
The Online Guy
The Lawyer (we are almost friends again)
The Boy
I am sorry if for some reason you are any of the people listed above and you actually realize it. I mean no disrespect.
He has never had a nickname. I have always referred to him by his actual name. I mean I could think of things to call him, but they just aren't fitting. It seems wrong. Almost as if I would be denying him his individuality by giving him some stupid reference nickname.
Anyway, he makes me giggle and laugh. He doesn't take himself or me too seriously, yet he took the situation seriously when I told him that I was looking for more of a commitment in my life than what he and I had going on. He suggested we give it a shot. That was my big decision. It turned out in a way I did not expect. He has a passion for music and a voice that was made for singing (karaoke at least). He loves cats and being silly. He gives me raspberries which make me laugh more than I think I have ever laughed in my whole entire life. He is hairy. He has tattoos. His eyes are a beautiful blue. He makes me think my family would like him... first guy since the ex that I actually thought could eventually meet the family and be liked.
This feeling frightens me.
I really like him. I realized I really liked him when I didn't give him a nickname such as:
The Convict (this is a long story in and of itself)
The Phone Guy
The Diabetic
The Union Guy
The Online Guy
The Lawyer (we are almost friends again)
The Boy
I am sorry if for some reason you are any of the people listed above and you actually realize it. I mean no disrespect.
He has never had a nickname. I have always referred to him by his actual name. I mean I could think of things to call him, but they just aren't fitting. It seems wrong. Almost as if I would be denying him his individuality by giving him some stupid reference nickname.
Anyway, he makes me giggle and laugh. He doesn't take himself or me too seriously, yet he took the situation seriously when I told him that I was looking for more of a commitment in my life than what he and I had going on. He suggested we give it a shot. That was my big decision. It turned out in a way I did not expect. He has a passion for music and a voice that was made for singing (karaoke at least). He loves cats and being silly. He gives me raspberries which make me laugh more than I think I have ever laughed in my whole entire life. He is hairy. He has tattoos. His eyes are a beautiful blue. He makes me think my family would like him... first guy since the ex that I actually thought could eventually meet the family and be liked.
This feeling frightens me.
The Worst Roommate Ever
No, I'm not talking about my roommate Mike. I am talking about me.
Here is a list of shitty or awkward things I have done since Mike has been living in my house:
Got home around 3:00am one evening. Thought it would be a good time to give Mike a screen for his bedroom window that I had noisily taken from the hallway window. He was sleeping and had to be up early for work the next day.
Came home drunk around 3:00am and Mike wasn't there. Drank the rest of his chocolate milk before passing out.
Ate a can of his corn because I had no side dish to go with my steak. Did not make him a steak.
This one is my fault because it is my dog: Duke locked himself in Mike's room. He pooped on a shirt, laid on the bed and ripped the carpet up.
Once again my fault because it is my dog: Duke went into Mike's room and stole his soap. ---- Mike now has a lock on the outside of the door. He should probably get one for the inside too... that will keep things like the screen incident from happening.
Came home drunk, made Mike listen to my boy problems... the conversation went something like this... "You see Mike..." giggle giggle giggle "Oh you don't want to know." "Denise, I know you are going to tell me anyway."
Threw a fit (about a boy) and made him take me to the gas station for cigarettes at 3:00am...yes I was drunk. He was awake though.
Generally hated his cousin for 2 months and wouldn't even let him speak his name in my presence (thank god I am so over that).
Tried to back out of vacation 5 or 6 times. He yelled at me the last time and said I most certainly was going.
Brought a boy home with me. Mike was sleeping. Said boy was still there when Mike woke up. He talked to him. Perhaps it was just awkward for me and the boy... Yes, I am still seeing said boy. Wasn't some sort of one night stand or anything.
Duke was going crazy in my room. I get up, throw on clothes and let the dog out. He runs downstairs and starts barking. I run downstairs after him. There's Mike sitting on the couch getting ready to watch a movie with a girl. Hey, it was 11:00pm... how was I supposed to know he was having company over that late? I make the situation even more awkward by not remembering how to speak properly because I feel uncomfortable.
Forgot that I had a load of laundry in the dryer. He had to take my clothes out of the dryer, throw them in my laundry basket and put it on top of the washing machine.
Told Mike about my various ailments, including my 2 bladder infections.
Made Mike watch a romantic comedy... actually, he chose to sit there and watch it with me, he did not have to do that.
I am sure there is more to this list. These are just things that stand out in my mind at the moment. Yikes. Poor guy.
Here is a list of shitty or awkward things I have done since Mike has been living in my house:
Got home around 3:00am one evening. Thought it would be a good time to give Mike a screen for his bedroom window that I had noisily taken from the hallway window. He was sleeping and had to be up early for work the next day.
Came home drunk around 3:00am and Mike wasn't there. Drank the rest of his chocolate milk before passing out.
Ate a can of his corn because I had no side dish to go with my steak. Did not make him a steak.
This one is my fault because it is my dog: Duke locked himself in Mike's room. He pooped on a shirt, laid on the bed and ripped the carpet up.
Once again my fault because it is my dog: Duke went into Mike's room and stole his soap. ---- Mike now has a lock on the outside of the door. He should probably get one for the inside too... that will keep things like the screen incident from happening.
Came home drunk, made Mike listen to my boy problems... the conversation went something like this... "You see Mike..." giggle giggle giggle "Oh you don't want to know." "Denise, I know you are going to tell me anyway."
Threw a fit (about a boy) and made him take me to the gas station for cigarettes at 3:00am...yes I was drunk. He was awake though.
Generally hated his cousin for 2 months and wouldn't even let him speak his name in my presence (thank god I am so over that).
Tried to back out of vacation 5 or 6 times. He yelled at me the last time and said I most certainly was going.
Brought a boy home with me. Mike was sleeping. Said boy was still there when Mike woke up. He talked to him. Perhaps it was just awkward for me and the boy... Yes, I am still seeing said boy. Wasn't some sort of one night stand or anything.
Duke was going crazy in my room. I get up, throw on clothes and let the dog out. He runs downstairs and starts barking. I run downstairs after him. There's Mike sitting on the couch getting ready to watch a movie with a girl. Hey, it was 11:00pm... how was I supposed to know he was having company over that late? I make the situation even more awkward by not remembering how to speak properly because I feel uncomfortable.
Forgot that I had a load of laundry in the dryer. He had to take my clothes out of the dryer, throw them in my laundry basket and put it on top of the washing machine.
Told Mike about my various ailments, including my 2 bladder infections.
Made Mike watch a romantic comedy... actually, he chose to sit there and watch it with me, he did not have to do that.
I am sure there is more to this list. These are just things that stand out in my mind at the moment. Yikes. Poor guy.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Super Spider Caper
Since I have nothing much to post I will give you a little father's day story...
On father's day my I got a call from my stepmom who was in town from Charlotte with my daddy for a graduation party. She said that they were on their way back to my Aunt Annie's house to play some board games and asked if I wanted them to swing by, pick me up and take me with them. I said yes, because after all, it was father's day and I get to see my daddy once every 6 months or so. We get to Aunt Annie’s and play two games of Apples to Apples of which I win one and my daddy wins the other. It was getting late and my cousin Pammy's boyfriend Phil asked me if I would like a ride home (he lives near me). I said sure.
So we are driving along, shooting the shit about my family, having a few laughs when all of a sudden this huge* spider starts slinging down from the rearview mirror towards where else but my lap. Now at this point I shriek, “EEEEEEE (high pitched throat closing noise)!!!!! SPIDER!!!” I hold my purse up. I contemplate hitting the spider with my purse. I think about the fact that if I did that and couldn’t find the spider I would potentially have to throw my purse out of the window. Things were not looking good. I was basically sitting on the door armrest still yelling the previously mentioned phrase. At this point Phil is also screaming like a little girl, “SPIDER!?! SPIDER!?! WHERE!?! WHERE IS THE SPIDER DENISE!?!” I tell him on the rearview mirror. He asks me again. I tell him again… He spots it. Now he is freaking out as much as I am. I see the fact that I am stuck in a car with a spider coming dangerously close to sitting on my lap and a guy that is just as afraid of it as I am. I think to myself, oh no, this won’t do, won’t do at all. My hand started creeping towards the door handle... Now remember, we are in a moving vehicle. Phil looks at me and screams “KILL IT!” I respond with “NO! I AM VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS! YOU KILL IT!” His answer is, “WELL I’M VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS TOO!!” At this point I think, “Great, this is just great. We will have to abandon the car by the side of the road because neither one of us has the balls to reach a hand up and kill this eight legged nightmare.” Phil had grabbed his cigarette pack, with a look of sheer panic and slight determination in his eyes. I yell, “Phil the surface isn’t flat enough. You might end up flinging the damn thing onto one of us!” At that moment we lose sight of the beast. We tried to stay as calm as possible. “WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?” we yell simultaneously. Then Phil spots it. It seems my little friend now wanted to visit with Phil. As the spider crawled towards Phil’s head he lifted his cigarette pack up and smooshed the SOB.
We laughed hysterically at each other for a little while. I turned to Phil and said, “I believe we just bonded.” He said, “I agree.”
* What Phil and I think of as a huge spider might just be a large house spider to someone else.
On father's day my I got a call from my stepmom who was in town from Charlotte with my daddy for a graduation party. She said that they were on their way back to my Aunt Annie's house to play some board games and asked if I wanted them to swing by, pick me up and take me with them. I said yes, because after all, it was father's day and I get to see my daddy once every 6 months or so. We get to Aunt Annie’s and play two games of Apples to Apples of which I win one and my daddy wins the other. It was getting late and my cousin Pammy's boyfriend Phil asked me if I would like a ride home (he lives near me). I said sure.
So we are driving along, shooting the shit about my family, having a few laughs when all of a sudden this huge* spider starts slinging down from the rearview mirror towards where else but my lap. Now at this point I shriek, “EEEEEEE (high pitched throat closing noise)!!!!! SPIDER!!!” I hold my purse up. I contemplate hitting the spider with my purse. I think about the fact that if I did that and couldn’t find the spider I would potentially have to throw my purse out of the window. Things were not looking good. I was basically sitting on the door armrest still yelling the previously mentioned phrase. At this point Phil is also screaming like a little girl, “SPIDER!?! SPIDER!?! WHERE!?! WHERE IS THE SPIDER DENISE!?!” I tell him on the rearview mirror. He asks me again. I tell him again… He spots it. Now he is freaking out as much as I am. I see the fact that I am stuck in a car with a spider coming dangerously close to sitting on my lap and a guy that is just as afraid of it as I am. I think to myself, oh no, this won’t do, won’t do at all. My hand started creeping towards the door handle... Now remember, we are in a moving vehicle. Phil looks at me and screams “KILL IT!” I respond with “NO! I AM VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS! YOU KILL IT!” His answer is, “WELL I’M VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS TOO!!” At this point I think, “Great, this is just great. We will have to abandon the car by the side of the road because neither one of us has the balls to reach a hand up and kill this eight legged nightmare.” Phil had grabbed his cigarette pack, with a look of sheer panic and slight determination in his eyes. I yell, “Phil the surface isn’t flat enough. You might end up flinging the damn thing onto one of us!” At that moment we lose sight of the beast. We tried to stay as calm as possible. “WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?” we yell simultaneously. Then Phil spots it. It seems my little friend now wanted to visit with Phil. As the spider crawled towards Phil’s head he lifted his cigarette pack up and smooshed the SOB.
We laughed hysterically at each other for a little while. I turned to Phil and said, “I believe we just bonded.” He said, “I agree.”
* What Phil and I think of as a huge spider might just be a large house spider to someone else.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Go Me and My Big Heart
If you know me, you know that though I may be a little harsh and slightly aggressive at times, I have a huge heart and will give anyone the shirt off my back if needed. So when my ex-husband contacted me the other day complaining that BAC would not fax him a copy of the loan assumption document (document stating I bought him out of the mortgage) and he really needed it to close on the house he was going to purchase (for some reason the BAC loan still shows up on his credit report) this here big hearted super hero jumped into action and got on the phone with BAC. I had to call 4 times but I finally got them to fax the f-ing letter to him. Go me and my big heart. This was the same guy that was unwilling to buy me out of the mortgage. The same guy who wouldn't take a single pet off of my hands. Yep that guy. I dropped everything at work to help him. So shame on anyone who thinks I don't have a heart. If anything my heart is too big for my own good.
I tend to put people on a pedestal. If I like you as a person, watch out. I expect great things from you. I expect you to reciprocate my unconditional friendship at any cost. If this doesn't happen I feel hurt, betrayed... almost like someone ran over my puppy. My roommate tells me that this is in fact my biggest personality flaw. I tend to give too much and people take advantage of me. Ha ha... can you even imagine your biggest flaw being your love of people? Now I know, you are thinking, "I know for a fact that you do not love people." This is true. I generally despise people. I think that they are mostly selfish, greedy, narcissistic evil doers. That being said, on the rare occasion that I let someone into my life, I tend to set the bar a little too high for them. I forget that people are people. Everyone is looking out for numero uno. I understand this. I do it myself. I'm not even sure that if I met me and became my friend that I would be happy with the outcome.
I am really trying to get away from this, but it is so damn hard. I like to have faith in people. I like to think that my friends are going to be my friends no matter what. I like to think that I could hold myself up to that sort of standard. Maybe I can. Probably not.
As an update to this, why shouldn't I expect the best from people? Is there really anything that terrible about it? Sure it causes me more heartache in the long run, but it also helps me surround myself with people who are worth it. It helps me weed out those that aren't worth my time and energy. I guess in the end, putting people on a pedestal really isn't that bad. It will get me what I want one day.
XoXo,
Me
I tend to put people on a pedestal. If I like you as a person, watch out. I expect great things from you. I expect you to reciprocate my unconditional friendship at any cost. If this doesn't happen I feel hurt, betrayed... almost like someone ran over my puppy. My roommate tells me that this is in fact my biggest personality flaw. I tend to give too much and people take advantage of me. Ha ha... can you even imagine your biggest flaw being your love of people? Now I know, you are thinking, "I know for a fact that you do not love people." This is true. I generally despise people. I think that they are mostly selfish, greedy, narcissistic evil doers. That being said, on the rare occasion that I let someone into my life, I tend to set the bar a little too high for them. I forget that people are people. Everyone is looking out for numero uno. I understand this. I do it myself. I'm not even sure that if I met me and became my friend that I would be happy with the outcome.
I am really trying to get away from this, but it is so damn hard. I like to have faith in people. I like to think that my friends are going to be my friends no matter what. I like to think that I could hold myself up to that sort of standard. Maybe I can. Probably not.
As an update to this, why shouldn't I expect the best from people? Is there really anything that terrible about it? Sure it causes me more heartache in the long run, but it also helps me surround myself with people who are worth it. It helps me weed out those that aren't worth my time and energy. I guess in the end, putting people on a pedestal really isn't that bad. It will get me what I want one day.
XoXo,
Me
Monday, June 14, 2010
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
A person’s life is made up of a series of decisions. These decisions affect where you end up. It’s not that I don’t believe in fate at all, because I do. I believe situations are presented to us by the universe, but it is in our hands to ultimately decide what path to take. Some decisions are harder than others. “Where should I live?” is clearly a harder decision than “What outfit should I wear today?” However both of these decisions could affect the direction your life takes.
I’m stuck on this right now. Decisions. I have a few decisions I need to make in my life. I believe it has come to the point where I have to decide. These decisions are going to affect my life and potentially my happiness in big ways. At what point do I stop thinking and just start doing? Do I go with the comfortable decision because I know this place? This is my comfortable place. It’s not necessarily my happy place, but it is my familiar place. Is it wrong that I have become complacent and content with the not so happy place because I have gotten so used to it? Unhappiness is no longer quite so unhappy for me because I have gotten used to it. If it keeps me from having to deal with the heartache of potentially not reaching my goal, then I am okay with it. Is that really a way to live? An intelligent guy once told me that I should go with what makes me happy. How do you do that if you aren't sure what makes you happy?
I sometimes wish I had someone to make my decisions for me. I have found that this is one of the hardest things I have had to learn since being single. There is no one there to tell me what to do. I have to decide on my own. I must say that in the past 2 years, I have gotten very good at it. No, not all of the decisions I have made have turned out great. In fact, more times than not, these decisions have been very, very bad. But at least I made them. Now I have even more to make and if you are close to me, you know what I am talking about. You know what these decisions are. You have given me your advice and I appreciate it but the decision is now up to me. Wish me luck. Hope that I make the right decision. Fingers crossed.
XoXo,
SuperAwesome D
Update: Well, I made my decision. It was hard. I chose what I know for a fact makes me happy. I'm not saying that the other choice wouldn't have made me just as happy, but that was scary uncharted happy. This is familiar comfortable happy. We will see how it goes. Hopefully I made the right decision. If not, I'll just add it to the list of life experiences.
I’m stuck on this right now. Decisions. I have a few decisions I need to make in my life. I believe it has come to the point where I have to decide. These decisions are going to affect my life and potentially my happiness in big ways. At what point do I stop thinking and just start doing? Do I go with the comfortable decision because I know this place? This is my comfortable place. It’s not necessarily my happy place, but it is my familiar place. Is it wrong that I have become complacent and content with the not so happy place because I have gotten so used to it? Unhappiness is no longer quite so unhappy for me because I have gotten used to it. If it keeps me from having to deal with the heartache of potentially not reaching my goal, then I am okay with it. Is that really a way to live? An intelligent guy once told me that I should go with what makes me happy. How do you do that if you aren't sure what makes you happy?
I sometimes wish I had someone to make my decisions for me. I have found that this is one of the hardest things I have had to learn since being single. There is no one there to tell me what to do. I have to decide on my own. I must say that in the past 2 years, I have gotten very good at it. No, not all of the decisions I have made have turned out great. In fact, more times than not, these decisions have been very, very bad. But at least I made them. Now I have even more to make and if you are close to me, you know what I am talking about. You know what these decisions are. You have given me your advice and I appreciate it but the decision is now up to me. Wish me luck. Hope that I make the right decision. Fingers crossed.
XoXo,
SuperAwesome D
Update: Well, I made my decision. It was hard. I chose what I know for a fact makes me happy. I'm not saying that the other choice wouldn't have made me just as happy, but that was scary uncharted happy. This is familiar comfortable happy. We will see how it goes. Hopefully I made the right decision. If not, I'll just add it to the list of life experiences.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
What...? What is this crazy stuff I hear?
I have been listening to the radio on the interwebs at work when my boss isn't in. This week will be one full week of radio listening. I have formed the following opinions regarding the music that is being played on the radio (I listen to Just the Hits! Todays Hottest Hit Music, so I am assuming that it's the same crap they play on the regular top 40 fm radio stations):
1. I am not a fan of Justin Bieber. I feel I have no room for him in my life. I don't like the fact that he sounds like he is a 10 year old girl. I don't like that he uses improper grammar. It irritates me. I hate his hair as well. That is more of a side note since you really can't see what people look like on the radio. I saw him on something on tv before.
2. Most of Taylor Swift's songs make me want to cry. Not because they are so poignant but because I like them so little. I don't want to listen to whiny songs about love as a 15 year old. I lived there at one point in time, 15 years ago, now please shut up about it. And Taylor, my dear, you should get over it as well. You will be old enough to drink this year. You haven't been 15 in quite a while yourself.
3. I can't go directly to the website to listen to the radio. I have to go through the radio station guide that is in my favorites on my web browser at work. This has been here since I started working at the firm and this is the first time I have actually utilized it. However, the station plays through Windows Media Player and the artist/song titles are not available. This brings me to my actual point. I have no idea who some of these people are without someone telling me and some of them sound exactly alike. So if I hear something that I really like I have to sit here and try to memorize every word so I can either ask someone (by singing it to them) or hope that I catch enough of the lyrics to do a google search. This annoys me, and I have no one to blame but myself.
4. I actually enjoy the mix of all of the genres of music this channel plays, even the country, which is hard to believe (excluding most Taylor Swift of course). I guess I can tolerate more than I first believed I could when it comes to music. I also like the fact that there is no classic rock played. I am officially sick of classic rock.
5. I now realize that since the invention of the iPod I have been living under a rock and not trying to experience any new music. With the discovery of this new found radio freedom at work I think I will be expanding my music collection to include some more up to date songs. I look forward to this journey.
Oh, on a side note, when you get a chance listen to the song "Because I'm Awesome" by the Dollyrots... this has been one of my favorite songs for the past few years. They just played it on my Hits radio station which surprises me.
1. I am not a fan of Justin Bieber. I feel I have no room for him in my life. I don't like the fact that he sounds like he is a 10 year old girl. I don't like that he uses improper grammar. It irritates me. I hate his hair as well. That is more of a side note since you really can't see what people look like on the radio. I saw him on something on tv before.
2. Most of Taylor Swift's songs make me want to cry. Not because they are so poignant but because I like them so little. I don't want to listen to whiny songs about love as a 15 year old. I lived there at one point in time, 15 years ago, now please shut up about it. And Taylor, my dear, you should get over it as well. You will be old enough to drink this year. You haven't been 15 in quite a while yourself.
3. I can't go directly to the website to listen to the radio. I have to go through the radio station guide that is in my favorites on my web browser at work. This has been here since I started working at the firm and this is the first time I have actually utilized it. However, the station plays through Windows Media Player and the artist/song titles are not available. This brings me to my actual point. I have no idea who some of these people are without someone telling me and some of them sound exactly alike. So if I hear something that I really like I have to sit here and try to memorize every word so I can either ask someone (by singing it to them) or hope that I catch enough of the lyrics to do a google search. This annoys me, and I have no one to blame but myself.
4. I actually enjoy the mix of all of the genres of music this channel plays, even the country, which is hard to believe (excluding most Taylor Swift of course). I guess I can tolerate more than I first believed I could when it comes to music. I also like the fact that there is no classic rock played. I am officially sick of classic rock.
5. I now realize that since the invention of the iPod I have been living under a rock and not trying to experience any new music. With the discovery of this new found radio freedom at work I think I will be expanding my music collection to include some more up to date songs. I look forward to this journey.
Oh, on a side note, when you get a chance listen to the song "Because I'm Awesome" by the Dollyrots... this has been one of my favorite songs for the past few years. They just played it on my Hits radio station which surprises me.
Monday, June 7, 2010
I Heart...
...in no particular order:
My friends
My family
Hockey
Beers
Bacon
Air Conditioning
Dukelbear (aka Duke, Good Buddy Duke, Stinky, Mr. McDukerson, Boofer Bear, My BFF)
HD TV
Kissing
Social Networking
Paul Rudd
Talking about me
Men with body hair (yeah, it should take me no time to find Mr. Right)
This Guy
Karaoke
Laughing
Cute guys that I want to stick in my pocket and take home with me keeping them as pets
Bar trivia
These Guys
Cheerios
Low Fat String Cheese
That butterfly feeling I get in my midsection when kissing someone I really like
Skim Milk
Chardonnay
Pizza Rolls (they have to be Totino’s pepperoni)
Tattoos
Dr. Pepper
Flip-flops
Long sleeve t-shirts
Hand holding
Jeremy Piven
The fact that my friends and I have a set playlist of songs that we play at the bar
The fact that we have choreographed dances to go along with above mentioned songs
Playing rap on the jukebox when the bar is full of old men
My snowman jammie pants
Spring
HBO
Bowling
Driving golf balls
Having a schoolgirl crush on someone
Being happy
Naps
Chocolate
The ocean
My cell phone
My friends
My family
Hockey
Beers
Bacon
Air Conditioning
Dukelbear (aka Duke, Good Buddy Duke, Stinky, Mr. McDukerson, Boofer Bear, My BFF)
HD TV
Kissing
Social Networking
Paul Rudd
Talking about me
Men with body hair (yeah, it should take me no time to find Mr. Right)
This Guy
Karaoke
Laughing
Cute guys that I want to stick in my pocket and take home with me keeping them as pets
Bar trivia
These Guys
Cheerios
Low Fat String Cheese
That butterfly feeling I get in my midsection when kissing someone I really like
Skim Milk
Chardonnay
Pizza Rolls (they have to be Totino’s pepperoni)
Tattoos
Dr. Pepper
Flip-flops
Long sleeve t-shirts
Hand holding
Jeremy Piven
The fact that my friends and I have a set playlist of songs that we play at the bar
The fact that we have choreographed dances to go along with above mentioned songs
Playing rap on the jukebox when the bar is full of old men
My snowman jammie pants
Spring
HBO
Bowling
Driving golf balls
Having a schoolgirl crush on someone
Being happy
Naps
Chocolate
The ocean
My cell phone
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Nice
How to fake nice:
1. Feign concern
2. Make eye contact
3. Smile frequently (even if it feels like it is killing you)
4. Laugh at jokes/stories where necessary
5. Listen intently
6. Offer feedback
7....Wait just one minute... aside from the bit about feigning concern, this almost sounds like real nice. What's the difference? Oh yes... it's the feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you that you would be happier anywhere but right here right now.
1. Feign concern
2. Make eye contact
3. Smile frequently (even if it feels like it is killing you)
4. Laugh at jokes/stories where necessary
5. Listen intently
6. Offer feedback
7....Wait just one minute... aside from the bit about feigning concern, this almost sounds like real nice. What's the difference? Oh yes... it's the feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you that you would be happier anywhere but right here right now.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
List of Demands
Often I have heard the question asked "What are you looking for in a significant other?" I hear it answered in different ways by different people. Most start their lists with physical features: muscles, boobs, teeth, eyes... then they throw in personality with a laugh, normally something like this; "Oh yeah (giggle giggle) and they have to make me laugh..." I wonder, what if we all started our lists with the personality traits and left the physical aspects at the bottom of the list? I understand we need to be physically attracted to someone to actually be with them. I don't care if I found Carrot Top to be the funniest guy on the face of the planet, I would never be happy with him because quite frankly I find him repulsive.
Just think about it though... when asked the question "What are you looking for in a significant other?" what if you answered like this:
I am looking for someone who makes me laugh. Someone who can take a serious situation and make it a little lighter but still understands that sometimes things are serious. I am looking for someone who understands that sometimes I am sad and sometimes I can't help it. I want someone who knows when to give me my space but also knows when to push and ask me what's wrong. I am looking for someone who can easily communicate with me when we need to talk about something. I am looking for someone who is at least passionate about one thing, even if that one thing is ridiculous. I want someone who loves their family and animals. I want someone who is loyal to their friends but knows when someone is just bad for them. Someone who recycles would be a plus. Oh yeah, (giggle giggle) and they have to have nice (whatever) and be built (however).
This is just a broad list of possible personality traits. This does not mean I am personally looking for a super-human male. Thank you to my friend who pointed out that it reads like I am looking for all of those things in a person.
Just think about it though... when asked the question "What are you looking for in a significant other?" what if you answered like this:
I am looking for someone who makes me laugh. Someone who can take a serious situation and make it a little lighter but still understands that sometimes things are serious. I am looking for someone who understands that sometimes I am sad and sometimes I can't help it. I want someone who knows when to give me my space but also knows when to push and ask me what's wrong. I am looking for someone who can easily communicate with me when we need to talk about something. I am looking for someone who is at least passionate about one thing, even if that one thing is ridiculous. I want someone who loves their family and animals. I want someone who is loyal to their friends but knows when someone is just bad for them. Someone who recycles would be a plus. Oh yeah, (giggle giggle) and they have to have nice (whatever) and be built (however).
This is just a broad list of possible personality traits. This does not mean I am personally looking for a super-human male. Thank you to my friend who pointed out that it reads like I am looking for all of those things in a person.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Avoiding "That Guy"
I woke up this morning feeling inspired. It is amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for you. I think I am ready to get back on that horse and start dating again. Many people can attest to the fact I have not had good luck in the dating area. I’m not sure if it has been because I just wasn’t ready to get serious about anything or anyone, perhaps I have been having too much fun, or if my taste in men is seriously that bad that I am just afraid that I will choose a major douchebag to fall for again.
A guy in my office and I were talking about my uncanny ability to find the douchebags no matter where I went. He told me that I was just like his girlfriend at the time. He once asked her exactly where she keeps her douche magnet. I told him I like to keep mine in my back pocket. What’s really sad about the whole douche magnet situation is the fact that even if I meet that nice guy who wants to spend time with me, be nice to me, buy me dinner and I meet a douchebag at the same time, I will choose the douchebag over the nice guy. Thus confirming the saying “Nice guys finish last.” I think this is a pattern in my life. I am trying to break this bad habit of mine because really, am I happy second guessing, feeling miserable and crying all the time? No. I think I do it because it is familiar to me.
So I have come up with some rules for myself to follow when meeting new men and forming a possible new relationship. Here are my top 10:
1. If his opening line is a backhanded compliment, he’s a douchebag. (i.e. Your hair looks great for being short, or you are pretty for a 30 year old)
2. If he says he will call you tomorrow and then calls you 4 days later, he’s a douchebag.
3. If most of his friends are women, he’s a douchebag. (I understand this one seems a little odd, but I have found out through experience that this is pretty damn accurate.)
4. If he flaunts how much money he has, he’s a douchebag.
5. If he doesn’t at least attempt to open a door for you, he’s a douchebag.
6. No “bless you” when you sneeze, douchebag (It’s common courtesy, has nothing to do with God. I mean you can even leave the God out of the phrase.)
7. If he never offers to pay for your drink, douchebag.
8. If he won’t tell you exactly what he does for a living, he’s a douchebag (or maybe an assassin which would be pretty great, but even they have fake jobs, this guy probably doesn’t have a job at all.)
9. If he normally goes for blonde chicks (and tells you that), douchebag.
10. If he is between the ages of 21 and 30, there is a big chance that he is just going to be a douchebag. (not that 21 is even within my age range. I just added it on there. 6 years up and 6 years down, that’s my age range.)
A guy in my office and I were talking about my uncanny ability to find the douchebags no matter where I went. He told me that I was just like his girlfriend at the time. He once asked her exactly where she keeps her douche magnet. I told him I like to keep mine in my back pocket. What’s really sad about the whole douche magnet situation is the fact that even if I meet that nice guy who wants to spend time with me, be nice to me, buy me dinner and I meet a douchebag at the same time, I will choose the douchebag over the nice guy. Thus confirming the saying “Nice guys finish last.” I think this is a pattern in my life. I am trying to break this bad habit of mine because really, am I happy second guessing, feeling miserable and crying all the time? No. I think I do it because it is familiar to me.
So I have come up with some rules for myself to follow when meeting new men and forming a possible new relationship. Here are my top 10:
1. If his opening line is a backhanded compliment, he’s a douchebag. (i.e. Your hair looks great for being short, or you are pretty for a 30 year old)
2. If he says he will call you tomorrow and then calls you 4 days later, he’s a douchebag.
3. If most of his friends are women, he’s a douchebag. (I understand this one seems a little odd, but I have found out through experience that this is pretty damn accurate.)
4. If he flaunts how much money he has, he’s a douchebag.
5. If he doesn’t at least attempt to open a door for you, he’s a douchebag.
6. No “bless you” when you sneeze, douchebag (It’s common courtesy, has nothing to do with God. I mean you can even leave the God out of the phrase.)
7. If he never offers to pay for your drink, douchebag.
8. If he won’t tell you exactly what he does for a living, he’s a douchebag (or maybe an assassin which would be pretty great, but even they have fake jobs, this guy probably doesn’t have a job at all.)
9. If he normally goes for blonde chicks (and tells you that), douchebag.
10. If he is between the ages of 21 and 30, there is a big chance that he is just going to be a douchebag. (not that 21 is even within my age range. I just added it on there. 6 years up and 6 years down, that’s my age range.)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
There is no Denise, only Zuul...
My cousin and I have this little game we play. When we are feeling depressed, or sick, or our Aunt Flow is in town for the monthly visit we like to "check out" and leave the real world for a little while. During these periods of time we do not accept phone calls, and if we do, be prepared to hear about it. You are lucky if we respond to text messages or even emails. In fact we have a system that if it gets too bad, the only response we ask for from each other is a single letter. Generally this letter is "F". We would prefer it if we didn't have to have any human contact whatsoever. It would make life so much easier. Thus, the use of the phrase, "There is no Denise, only Zuul..." It is a disclaimer along the lines of the "BEWARE OF DOG" sign. It is a warning. I am telling you that you can stick your hand through the fence but understand that you might pull your arm back to reveal nothing but a bloody stump.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
What's My Motivation?
I found that recently I have become somewhat lackadaisical when it comes to life. I try to get to work on time every day. It just seems that every day it becomes harder and harder to get out of bed. I attempt to clean my house at least once a week, but there is such great programming on the History Channel. I mean to open my mail, or at least look at it on a daily basis...Eh, but what's my motivation?
I must say though, I am happier now than I was just a little over a month ago. In fact I am almost back to December happy, and I was very happy in December. That's what I've been trying to achieve for the past month and a half. So I guess I haven't been totally uninspired, just mostly.
I am starting to think my problem in life right now is I am not being challenged so I have become bored. I would more than likely benefit from some sort of hobby (I do realize that chasing cute boys is not considered a hobby...why not? I like to consider it sport). The only problem with a hobby is I am sort of good at many things but I don't excel at any one thing in particular. Or the hobbies that are out there to choose from just seem boring to me. How does one choose a hobby? Do you just wake up one morning and think, "today I will start scrap-booking"? I mean, I wouldn't have this blog right now if someone hadn't suggested that it is how I should waste... I mean spend my extra time. Is blogging considered a hobby? Can I get away with talking incessantly about myself and write it off as a hobby?
Even so, what's my motivation? Why should I sit here and type things? I guess in the end I could possibly gain some inner peace by getting some of my thoughts out of my mind to share with others. My mind can be a scary place and I don't normally like to go there alone. Maybe I will eventually have a few blog followers.
I have been wanting to build a home compost bin... or something like that... I just need to find the motivation to do it.
I must say though, I am happier now than I was just a little over a month ago. In fact I am almost back to December happy, and I was very happy in December. That's what I've been trying to achieve for the past month and a half. So I guess I haven't been totally uninspired, just mostly.
I am starting to think my problem in life right now is I am not being challenged so I have become bored. I would more than likely benefit from some sort of hobby (I do realize that chasing cute boys is not considered a hobby...why not? I like to consider it sport). The only problem with a hobby is I am sort of good at many things but I don't excel at any one thing in particular. Or the hobbies that are out there to choose from just seem boring to me. How does one choose a hobby? Do you just wake up one morning and think, "today I will start scrap-booking"? I mean, I wouldn't have this blog right now if someone hadn't suggested that it is how I should waste... I mean spend my extra time. Is blogging considered a hobby? Can I get away with talking incessantly about myself and write it off as a hobby?
Even so, what's my motivation? Why should I sit here and type things? I guess in the end I could possibly gain some inner peace by getting some of my thoughts out of my mind to share with others. My mind can be a scary place and I don't normally like to go there alone. Maybe I will eventually have a few blog followers.
I have been wanting to build a home compost bin... or something like that... I just need to find the motivation to do it.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Rebound
You wake up one morning to find that your significant other, the love of your life is no longer there. You had been with them for a long time. What are you going to do? You are going to go through your mourning period. You are going to be sad, you are going to get angry, you will feel lonely, then you will go out and get some. Perhaps you slut it up a bit. Sleep with this person, sleep with that person, avoiding any sort of relationship whatsoever. Then along comes a person that piques your interest. You end up spending a significant amount of time with this person. You do couple like things together. It ends up going on for a month or two or even more. This my friend, is your rebound person. This is one significant step in your heart's recovery process. Just remember this is your rebound person. You have fun with your rebound person. You have sex with your rebound person. You develop some feelings for your rebound person. YOU DO NOT MARRY YOUR REBOUND PERSON!
Now you are probably thinking, "Why don't you marry your rebound person? Why does your rebound person have to be someone that you actually develop feelings for? Why can't it be that first random you had sex with a few times for a couple of weeks?" Well I am about to answer those questions and give you a few pointers regarding the whole rebound situation.
1. YOU DO NOT MARRY YOUR REBOUND PERSON
This one is easy. You may feel like this new person that you find interesting and enjoy spending time with could very well be the next ONE but you are mistaken. Chances are you picked a person that you are compatible with on quite a few levels but they have that one thing about them that you just can't get past. I don't like the way she laughs, he's too short, she's just not smart enough, he chews with his mouth open... the list goes on and on. This is your out. This is the reason this is your rebound person. Rebound is to get you into the next serious relationship. (S)He is not the next ONE.
2. KEEP YOUR REBOUND PERSON SEPARATE FROM YOUR WORK LIFE/FAMILY LIFE
Now of course there are exceptions to this rule. Examples of exceptions:
a) you have children...
b) you live with your parents...
c) your cousin is getting married and you don't want to be alone at the wedding...
Never ever bring your rebound to work functions because people will ask about him/her all the time ruining any chance of you getting out of having to tell the story of how it just didn't work out for the two of you. Believe me this is important. Remember when you lost that significant other? Remember how you had to explain it to everyone at work? Welcome back.
3. AVOID DISCUSSIONS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER
Never have any conversations that involve places to live, what your wedding will be like, how many kids you want or what their names will be. This is misleading and it just isn't fair to anyone. Total douche move.
4. KNOW WHEN TO CUT AND RUN
Do not keep your rebound around just because you are afraid to be alone. This is not the correct way to deal with the situation. You knew this arrangement would not last. Sure you may have convinced yourself that this is the next ONE, but if you really step back and assess the situation you will see that there is that underlying something that is just keeping you from committing completely. When it gets old, or boring, when you don't want to spend so much time with that person anymore, when their mere presence annoys you, it is time to end it and find that extra special someone that really is the next ONE.
I also want to touch on how to avoid being someone's rebound person. When you meet someone that you think you might want to get to know better, find out all of the facts before committing. Take my friend for example. He met someone that he thought was the bees knees. They were together for 8 months. They lived together and there was even some talk of their future together. She had been engaged before. She broke off the engagement and moved into the neighborhood. She messed around with a guy for a week or so before hooking up with my friend. Unfortunately for him, he was the rebound guy. He didn't understand how and swore up and down that he wasn't. I had to explain to him that unfortunately he was. The signs were there. He was the big relationship after the relationship with the ONE failed. The guy she messed around with first does not count. She was just slutting it up a bit. She did break every rule when it came to the rebound relationship. I could speculate further but I really don't need to. To avoid this kind of heartache ask these important questions:
When was your last serious relationship?
How long was your last serious relationship?
Did you date anyone for a short period of time after that?
Sure these questions may seem a little forward, but I believe most people will be willing to answer them as long as they don't carry some heavy baggage around with them. Trust me, you'll be happier in the end if you get all of the facts.
On that note...
My last serious relationship ended approximately 2 years ago.
We were together for 8 years. 4 years living together and 4 years married.
Yes I did date someone for about 3 months since the end of that serious relationship. Turns out I didn't like him very much after all.
No my baggage isn't too heavy.
Hi my name is D (SuperAwesome).
Are you interested?
Now you are probably thinking, "Why don't you marry your rebound person? Why does your rebound person have to be someone that you actually develop feelings for? Why can't it be that first random you had sex with a few times for a couple of weeks?" Well I am about to answer those questions and give you a few pointers regarding the whole rebound situation.
1. YOU DO NOT MARRY YOUR REBOUND PERSON
This one is easy. You may feel like this new person that you find interesting and enjoy spending time with could very well be the next ONE but you are mistaken. Chances are you picked a person that you are compatible with on quite a few levels but they have that one thing about them that you just can't get past. I don't like the way she laughs, he's too short, she's just not smart enough, he chews with his mouth open... the list goes on and on. This is your out. This is the reason this is your rebound person. Rebound is to get you into the next serious relationship. (S)He is not the next ONE.
2. KEEP YOUR REBOUND PERSON SEPARATE FROM YOUR WORK LIFE/FAMILY LIFE
Now of course there are exceptions to this rule. Examples of exceptions:
a) you have children...
b) you live with your parents...
c) your cousin is getting married and you don't want to be alone at the wedding...
Never ever bring your rebound to work functions because people will ask about him/her all the time ruining any chance of you getting out of having to tell the story of how it just didn't work out for the two of you. Believe me this is important. Remember when you lost that significant other? Remember how you had to explain it to everyone at work? Welcome back.
3. AVOID DISCUSSIONS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER
Never have any conversations that involve places to live, what your wedding will be like, how many kids you want or what their names will be. This is misleading and it just isn't fair to anyone. Total douche move.
4. KNOW WHEN TO CUT AND RUN
Do not keep your rebound around just because you are afraid to be alone. This is not the correct way to deal with the situation. You knew this arrangement would not last. Sure you may have convinced yourself that this is the next ONE, but if you really step back and assess the situation you will see that there is that underlying something that is just keeping you from committing completely. When it gets old, or boring, when you don't want to spend so much time with that person anymore, when their mere presence annoys you, it is time to end it and find that extra special someone that really is the next ONE.
I also want to touch on how to avoid being someone's rebound person. When you meet someone that you think you might want to get to know better, find out all of the facts before committing. Take my friend for example. He met someone that he thought was the bees knees. They were together for 8 months. They lived together and there was even some talk of their future together. She had been engaged before. She broke off the engagement and moved into the neighborhood. She messed around with a guy for a week or so before hooking up with my friend. Unfortunately for him, he was the rebound guy. He didn't understand how and swore up and down that he wasn't. I had to explain to him that unfortunately he was. The signs were there. He was the big relationship after the relationship with the ONE failed. The guy she messed around with first does not count. She was just slutting it up a bit. She did break every rule when it came to the rebound relationship. I could speculate further but I really don't need to. To avoid this kind of heartache ask these important questions:
When was your last serious relationship?
How long was your last serious relationship?
Did you date anyone for a short period of time after that?
Sure these questions may seem a little forward, but I believe most people will be willing to answer them as long as they don't carry some heavy baggage around with them. Trust me, you'll be happier in the end if you get all of the facts.
On that note...
My last serious relationship ended approximately 2 years ago.
We were together for 8 years. 4 years living together and 4 years married.
Yes I did date someone for about 3 months since the end of that serious relationship. Turns out I didn't like him very much after all.
No my baggage isn't too heavy.
Hi my name is D (SuperAwesome).
Are you interested?
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