The Worst Roommate Ever

No, I'm not talking about my roommate Mike. I am talking about me.
Here is a list of shitty or awkward things I have done since Mike has been living in my house:

Got home around 3:00am one evening. Thought it would be a good time to give Mike a screen for his bedroom window that I had noisily taken from the hallway window. He was sleeping and had to be up early for work the next day.

Came home drunk around 3:00am and Mike wasn't there. Drank the rest of his chocolate milk before passing out.

Ate a can of his corn because I had no side dish to go with my steak. Did not make him a steak.

This one is my fault because it is my dog: Duke locked himself in Mike's room. He pooped on a shirt, laid on the bed and ripped the carpet up.

Once again my fault because it is my dog: Duke went into Mike's room and stole his soap. ---- Mike now has a lock on the outside of the door. He should probably get one for the inside too... that will keep things like the screen incident from happening.

Came home drunk, made Mike listen to my boy problems... the conversation went something like this... "You see Mike..." giggle giggle giggle "Oh you don't want to know." "Denise, I know you are going to tell me anyway."

Threw a fit (about a boy) and made him take me to the gas station for cigarettes at 3:00am...yes I was drunk. He was awake though.

Generally hated his cousin for 2 months and wouldn't even let him speak his name in my presence (thank god I am so over that).

Tried to back out of vacation 5 or 6 times. He yelled at me the last time and said I most certainly was going.

Brought a boy home with me. Mike was sleeping. Said boy was still there when Mike woke up. He talked to him. Perhaps it was just awkward for me and the boy... Yes, I am still seeing said boy. Wasn't some sort of one night stand or anything.

Duke was going crazy in my room. I get up, throw on clothes and let the dog out. He runs downstairs and starts barking. I run downstairs after him. There's Mike sitting on the couch getting ready to watch a movie with a girl. Hey, it was 11:00pm... how was I supposed to know he was having company over that late? I make the situation even more awkward by not remembering how to speak properly because I feel uncomfortable.

Forgot that I had a load of laundry in the dryer. He had to take my clothes out of the dryer, throw them in my laundry basket and put it on top of the washing machine.

Told Mike about my various ailments, including my 2 bladder infections.

Made Mike watch a romantic comedy... actually, he chose to sit there and watch it with me, he did not have to do that.

I am sure there is more to this list. These are just things that stand out in my mind at the moment. Yikes. Poor guy.