Super Spider Caper

Since I have nothing much to post I will give you a little father's day story...

On father's day my I got a call from my stepmom who was in town from Charlotte with my daddy for a graduation party. She said that they were on their way back to my Aunt Annie's house to play some board games and asked if I wanted them to swing by, pick me up and take me with them. I said yes, because after all, it was father's day and I get to see my daddy once every 6 months or so. We get to Aunt Annie’s and play two games of Apples to Apples of which I win one and my daddy wins the other. It was getting late and my cousin Pammy's boyfriend Phil asked me if I would like a ride home (he lives near me). I said sure.
So we are driving along, shooting the shit about my family, having a few laughs when all of a sudden this huge* spider starts slinging down from the rearview mirror towards where else but my lap. Now at this point I shriek, “EEEEEEE (high pitched throat closing noise)!!!!! SPIDER!!!” I hold my purse up. I contemplate hitting the spider with my purse. I think about the fact that if I did that and couldn’t find the spider I would potentially have to throw my purse out of the window. Things were not looking good. I was basically sitting on the door armrest still yelling the previously mentioned phrase. At this point Phil is also screaming like a little girl, “SPIDER!?! SPIDER!?! WHERE!?! WHERE IS THE SPIDER DENISE!?!” I tell him on the rearview mirror. He asks me again. I tell him again… He spots it. Now he is freaking out as much as I am. I see the fact that I am stuck in a car with a spider coming dangerously close to sitting on my lap and a guy that is just as afraid of it as I am. I think to myself, oh no, this won’t do, won’t do at all. My hand started creeping towards the door handle... Now remember, we are in a moving vehicle. Phil looks at me and screams “KILL IT!” I respond with “NO! I AM VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS! YOU KILL IT!” His answer is, “WELL I’M VERY AFRAID OF SPIDERS TOO!!” At this point I think, “Great, this is just great. We will have to abandon the car by the side of the road because neither one of us has the balls to reach a hand up and kill this eight legged nightmare.” Phil had grabbed his cigarette pack, with a look of sheer panic and slight determination in his eyes. I yell, “Phil the surface isn’t flat enough. You might end up flinging the damn thing onto one of us!” At that moment we lose sight of the beast. We tried to stay as calm as possible. “WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?” we yell simultaneously. Then Phil spots it. It seems my little friend now wanted to visit with Phil. As the spider crawled towards Phil’s head he lifted his cigarette pack up and smooshed the SOB.
We laughed hysterically at each other for a little while. I turned to Phil and said, “I believe we just bonded.” He said, “I agree.”

* What Phil and I think of as a huge spider might just be a large house spider to someone else.