Avoiding "That Guy"

I woke up this morning feeling inspired. It is amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for you. I think I am ready to get back on that horse and start dating again. Many people can attest to the fact I have not had good luck in the dating area. I’m not sure if it has been because I just wasn’t ready to get serious about anything or anyone, perhaps I have been having too much fun, or if my taste in men is seriously that bad that I am just afraid that I will choose a major douchebag to fall for again.
A guy in my office and I were talking about my uncanny ability to find the douchebags no matter where I went. He told me that I was just like his girlfriend at the time. He once asked her exactly where she keeps her douche magnet. I told him I like to keep mine in my back pocket. What’s really sad about the whole douche magnet situation is the fact that even if I meet that nice guy who wants to spend time with me, be nice to me, buy me dinner and I meet a douchebag at the same time, I will choose the douchebag over the nice guy. Thus confirming the saying “Nice guys finish last.” I think this is a pattern in my life. I am trying to break this bad habit of mine because really, am I happy second guessing, feeling miserable and crying all the time? No. I think I do it because it is familiar to me.
So I have come up with some rules for myself to follow when meeting new men and forming a possible new relationship. Here are my top 10:

1. If his opening line is a backhanded compliment, he’s a douchebag. (i.e. Your hair looks great for being short, or you are pretty for a 30 year old)
2. If he says he will call you tomorrow and then calls you 4 days later, he’s a douchebag.
3. If most of his friends are women, he’s a douchebag. (I understand this one seems a little odd, but I have found out through experience that this is pretty damn accurate.)
4. If he flaunts how much money he has, he’s a douchebag.
5. If he doesn’t at least attempt to open a door for you, he’s a douchebag.
6. No “bless you” when you sneeze, douchebag (It’s common courtesy, has nothing to do with God. I mean you can even leave the God out of the phrase.)
7. If he never offers to pay for your drink, douchebag.
8. If he won’t tell you exactly what he does for a living, he’s a douchebag (or maybe an assassin which would be pretty great, but even they have fake jobs, this guy probably doesn’t have a job at all.)
9. If he normally goes for blonde chicks (and tells you that), douchebag.
10. If he is between the ages of 21 and 30, there is a big chance that he is just going to be a douchebag. (not that 21 is even within my age range. I just added it on there. 6 years up and 6 years down, that’s my age range.)