The Rebound

You wake up one morning to find that your significant other, the love of your life is no longer there. You had been with them for a long time. What are you going to do? You are going to go through your mourning period. You are going to be sad, you are going to get angry, you will feel lonely, then you will go out and get some. Perhaps you slut it up a bit. Sleep with this person, sleep with that person, avoiding any sort of relationship whatsoever. Then along comes a person that piques your interest. You end up spending a significant amount of time with this person. You do couple like things together. It ends up going on for a month or two or even more. This my friend, is your rebound person. This is one significant step in your heart's recovery process. Just remember this is your rebound person. You have fun with your rebound person. You have sex with your rebound person. You develop some feelings for your rebound person. YOU DO NOT MARRY YOUR REBOUND PERSON!
Now you are probably thinking, "Why don't you marry your rebound person? Why does your rebound person have to be someone that you actually develop feelings for? Why can't it be that first random you had sex with a few times for a couple of weeks?" Well I am about to answer those questions and give you a few pointers regarding the whole rebound situation.

1. YOU DO NOT MARRY YOUR REBOUND PERSON

This one is easy. You may feel like this new person that you find interesting and enjoy spending time with could very well be the next ONE but you are mistaken. Chances are you picked a person that you are compatible with on quite a few levels but they have that one thing about them that you just can't get past. I don't like the way she laughs, he's too short, she's just not smart enough, he chews with his mouth open... the list goes on and on. This is your out. This is the reason this is your rebound person. Rebound is to get you into the next serious relationship. (S)He is not the next ONE.

2. KEEP YOUR REBOUND PERSON SEPARATE FROM YOUR WORK LIFE/FAMILY LIFE

Now of course there are exceptions to this rule. Examples of exceptions:
a) you have children...
b) you live with your parents...
c) your cousin is getting married and you don't want to be alone at the wedding...
Never ever bring your rebound to work functions because people will ask about him/her all the time ruining any chance of you getting out of having to tell the story of how it just didn't work out for the two of you. Believe me this is important. Remember when you lost that significant other? Remember how you had to explain it to everyone at work? Welcome back.

3. AVOID DISCUSSIONS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER

Never have any conversations that involve places to live, what your wedding will be like, how many kids you want or what their names will be. This is misleading and it just isn't fair to anyone. Total douche move.

4. KNOW WHEN TO CUT AND RUN

Do not keep your rebound around just because you are afraid to be alone. This is not the correct way to deal with the situation. You knew this arrangement would not last. Sure you may have convinced yourself that this is the next ONE, but if you really step back and assess the situation you will see that there is that underlying something that is just keeping you from committing completely. When it gets old, or boring, when you don't want to spend so much time with that person anymore, when their mere presence annoys you, it is time to end it and find that extra special someone that really is the next ONE.

I also want to touch on how to avoid being someone's rebound person. When you meet someone that you think you might want to get to know better, find out all of the facts before committing. Take my friend for example. He met someone that he thought was the bees knees. They were together for 8 months. They lived together and there was even some talk of their future together. She had been engaged before. She broke off the engagement and moved into the neighborhood. She messed around with a guy for a week or so before hooking up with my friend. Unfortunately for him, he was the rebound guy. He didn't understand how and swore up and down that he wasn't. I had to explain to him that unfortunately he was. The signs were there. He was the big relationship after the relationship with the ONE failed. The guy she messed around with first does not count. She was just slutting it up a bit. She did break every rule when it came to the rebound relationship. I could speculate further but I really don't need to. To avoid this kind of heartache ask these important questions:

When was your last serious relationship?
How long was your last serious relationship?
Did you date anyone for a short period of time after that?

Sure these questions may seem a little forward, but I believe most people will be willing to answer them as long as they don't carry some heavy baggage around with them. Trust me, you'll be happier in the end if you get all of the facts.

On that note...

My last serious relationship ended approximately 2 years ago.
We were together for 8 years. 4 years living together and 4 years married.
Yes I did date someone for about 3 months since the end of that serious relationship. Turns out I didn't like him very much after all.
No my baggage isn't too heavy.
Hi my name is D (SuperAwesome).
Are you interested?